Monday, January 14, 2013

Extreme Hunger Cues

Extreme hunger. It is something that I have been forced to deal with repeatedly in the past two weeks. As I know nothing about this, I went and did some research and according to an article on Eatopia,
Extreme hunger is a common experience for almost everyone undergoing recovery from any kind of restrictive eating disorder. It is one of the most anxiety-provoking elements of recovery. It can happen at any time in the recovery process and varies for everyone as to how long it lasts. During this time you will want (and very much need) far more than your recommended daily amount and may find yourself consuming anywhere from 6,000-10,000 calories in a single day. That causes panic for pretty much everyone on the restrictive eating disorder.
The write-up was very informative and I am somewhat relieved after having gone through it. To know that it is common for sufferers of restrictive eating disorders to experience this and to not be the only one is, like I said, a relief in a sense - to know that it is not just me having to deal with this.

It said in the article that these extreme hunger cues can surface at any given point during one's recovery process. Although I've been in recovery for a while now, my body just started experiencing this extreme hunger. Although I eat all my meals and drink my supplement drinks, I feel this urge to consume whatever is in sight several times a week - usually at night time. It is both deathly terrifying to listen to my body - to nourish it further even though it is not part of my meal plan; to have to eat 'extra' in a way - and yet it reassures me that it is alright for me to consume this much. I don't know how else to explain this. I generally listen to these hunger signals and give in, sustaining my body with additional calories, rather than ignoring them and not having anything. 

I don't know how long these extreme hunger cues last in one's recovery journey; it said that it is different for every individual. I just hope that it doesn't go on forever. Sometimes I feel like I eat so much that I must get 'fat' instantly, yet I push through those thoughts and try to shove them aside.

What I wish for more than anything is to finally establish a normal relationship with food again; one where my hunger signals are in check.

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